Call-backs ~Lita

Today is one of those days. Sitting by the phone, waiting....wishing. "Ring, damnit!" No, I'm not waiting by the phone because I'm lonely. Actually, I'm quite the opposite. Being a MILF in training, I find myself busy each day with work, kids and well...being me. Sarcastic, rude, charming and everything else that most people don't look for in any kind of relationship. The fact is, I'm abbrasive. I like the shock-factor behind every word that leaves my sardonic lips. Sure I care somewhat about how people feel about me, but hey. If you don't like it, get the fuck out!

Anyhow, back to the story at hand. After having a long hard day with personal struggles and work, I come home to unwind. Two years ago, this would involve a Pilltini....any kind of pain killer followed by a vodka or wine chaser. Sadly enough, nowadays, my unwinding consists of going to my bedroom and hiding under the covers like a four year old and trying to devour an entire oven-baked pizza. Oh how sad my days have become....when the highlight of my night consists of realizing that I'm really proud of the fact that I didn't eat that ONE LAST PIECE....Only to find myself hovering around it an hour later.

As I was laying completely draped in a fortress of puppy-dog sheets my phone rang. An unexpected voice (ok, who am I kidding...totally expected and appreciated) penetrates my auditory senses. We sit and chat over the days recent activity that has led me to cowering like a wounded animal and immediately I feel better. Almost 45 minutes go by and I don't think much about my "drama." Then the call ends. "I'll call you back in 15 minutes." (this is where my issue comes into play).

Here I sit, almost 2 hours later and feel like a teenager waiting for her prom date to show up on her doorstep. He never called. Now, I'm not one to talk on this subject, but I am able to appreciate the anger behind it. I used to hate it when I'd talk to my friends and we'd decide to part ways for a while ending with a "Ok, well I'll talk to you after dinner" or "I'll call you after I give my husband his after dinner blow job" only to find myself anticipating their call. Then I became a Mom. What used to be an "I'll call you back" turned into "You'll be lucky if you hear from me in a week." Kids keep you busy and hey...they're my numero uno. But again, here I sit....in the same position I put my friends in on a daily basis. Shit. Karma is a freaking bitch, isn't it?

I ponder my decisions on what course of action to take. I could call, but that'd seem crazy (or am I over-thinking?). I could send an email, but that has the possibility of never being seen in the next few days. I guess I should just stop over-analyzing everything....let the good times roll. BUT I CAN'T. I'm a control freak! I don't like having every second of every day planned (at least a week in advance)...and when I set aside time to do something and it doesn't go down...ah shit. It's on like Donkey Kong. I will make your life hell. And when you least expect it...BAM! I'll bring it up. "Remember that one time you were supposed to call me back...and never did? Well, I contemplated slitting my wrists. Yeah, thanks. Great friend." (in my defense, it wasn't that bad of a day) Or maybe I'm just being a girl. A hormone-raging, sex-deprived MILF (in training). Yea, I'm sensitive, but hey. What single woman isn't? Add to my plate the boys...and yea, I've got therapy waiting in my future.

I guess as I sit and try to figure out what I'm really trying to say without sounding like a hypocrit....I decided I really don't give a shit. When someone says they're going to call me back, then do it. And if you have no intentions of doing so, you'd better have a good reason and be up front and honest about it. Otherwise you're headed for the route of being without one of your testes. The rules of life don't apply to me anymore. I'm untouchable, so fuck off.
Goodnight, all! :)